Living
by DeanLittle67
Summary: After Rory turned down his proposal, Logan is ready to make a name for himself on the West Coast. How will this change when he gets a life-shattering call from a Gilmore Girl? How will he find it in himself to continue to make this new life work?
1. Chapter 1

It took him two weeks after walking away from her to finally pack up his belongings from Colin's apartment and relocate to California. He knew his hesitancy was based on the hope that she'd call him to change her mind, or to call him in general. He had realized the day after walking away that he shouldn't have, but his own pride got in the way of his desire for reconciliation. He kicked himself so hard on the plane ride, but still chose to not do anything about it.

He knew that in walking away, he was walking away from the rock in his life. She'd pushed him to be better, to venture out on his own and make a name for himself. There was the fear that without her, it would all crumble down. However, when he was unpacking in the house he'd bought - the one he'd bought with her in mind - he saw a shimmer of hope for his future. That didn't mean that he didn't wallow or drink himself into oblivion, because that happened quite frequently.

Two weeks after his relocation, he'd started working at Premier Media in Palo Alto as the Director of Acquisitions. It was a nice change from the constant drunken stupor he'd been in, laying in bed day after day. He'd let his hair grow out, but didn't style it so that it laid like a shortened mop on his head. The suit fit him well, the tie crooked as always since Rory wasn't there to straighten it for him. With a small smile, he left for the office.

"Logan!" Coleen called from across the newsroom. She hurried over to him in her heels. He didn't understand how she could move so fast while balancing on the stilt-like heels. A pencil-skirt hugged her waist and the sleeves of her blouse were rolled up. "Glad to finally see you. We were expecting you back two weeks ago!" He just shook her hand with a sad smile.

"Umm… There was some personal things that had to be dealt with before I could come back. You remember me talking about Rory, right?" he asked, and she just nodded, leading him to his office. "Well, she turned down my proposal."

"Oh, Logan. I'm sorry." It sounded sincere, nothing like what he would have heard at the country club or from Shira. No, this was somebody who was genuinely sorry for the collapse of the best - and only - relationship he'd ever had.

"I'm working past it. Let's get started," he told her, perking up the best he could, putting on that society smile that he'd perfected over the years. She started giving him a rundown of the office layout - both floorplan and worker wise. He fit in right away, attending his first meeting with the editors and the reporters. It was a dream come true, but when he went home at the end of the day, he was met with the silence he'd dreaded.

Tossing his jacket on the armchair, he made his way into the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator before sitting on the couch in the living room. He kept the lights off, but turned the television on to CSPAN and hearing President George W. Bush tell the country that Ed Gillespie was replacing Dan Bartlett as White House counselor. But he really didn't hear it. Instead, his mind wandered to a blue eyed brunette that he should have been watching this with. As far as he knew, she was sitting in that crowd listening to the President as a reporter. Or maybe she was still at home in Stars Hollow.

He nursed the beer in his hand, letting his mind wander to all the possibilities she had, wander to her _wide open future._ He laughed at those words. Wide open future? He knew she was right, but that didn't make it hurt any less. He shouldn't have given her that damn ultimatum. He laughed again before taking another swig. God, he was pathetic. He was pining over a girl who had smashed his heart into oblivion. If he saw himself right now, he'd punch himself in the face. Colin and Finn had been right, he shouldn't have let himself fall for her. But their warnings didn't change the fact that he did, didn't change the fact that he was sitting alone at home on a Friday night, drinking all while thinking about his lost love.

He didn't know what time he finally dragged himself to bed, but he woke up to the sounds of his alarm going off at five in the morning. Groaning, he pulled himself up and to the attached bathroom. The hot water of the shower beat down on him as his eyes slipped shut, images of her in his mind. God, she was beautiful. As quickly as they came, he pushed them away knowing that thinking of her in the shower would end badly for his emotional state - as well as his physical. He hadn't gone this long without sex since he had been shipped off to London, and even then the texts they shared were able to tide him over until their next meeting.

Once he turned the shower off, he stepped out and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around his waist. He thought of his itinerary for the day. He had a meeting with Colleen as well as Jeremy, the other board member. Sure, he'd been offered the job as a board member, but graciously turned it down knowing it would come with long hours that he'd rather spend with Rory. He was starting to regret that decision, a lot of his decisions. But he'd made his bed, and he knew he needed to lie in it.

The office was bustling when he arrived. He'd had this perfect image of the office and his job before coming out to California, but the realities were much different than his imagination. There were at least twenty desks fit into the large room as well as several printers and copiers. To an outsider, it would seem crowded with the furniture as well as the staff, but to somebody in the business, it was a normal day and a normal look. Straight away, he went to the kitchenette and poured himself a cup of steaming coffee into one of the provided styrofoam cups stacked next to the machine. When the liquid hit his throat, he shuddered at the awful taste. It was nothing like how she made it, and even then, he was a tea person. However, he needed the pick-me-up after his wallowing and his late night thoughts, as well as for his busy schedule.

"I'm Suzanne," a woman said from behind him. He spun around, coffee still in hand to face the voice. She was a few inches shorter than him, dark skin, curly hair that he knew was natural. "I'm one of the editors." They shook hands and he gave her a smile.

"Logan," he replied, realizing she probably already knew who he was - or had heard about him at least. From what Colleen had told him, everybody was excited for the new addition to the team. Not only was his background as a worker significant, his name wasn't, which had sold him on the idea of working with Premier Media. "What are you the editor for?"

"Politics," she responded as she poured herself a cup. "I love it, honestly, especially given Barack Obama's campaign." She continued to speak of the campaign and her hopes for the turnout. Her enthusiasm reminded him of Ace, which brought a smile to his face. Maybe working there wouldn't be that bad after all.

"It was nice meeting you, Suzanne, but I have to meet with the board members in ten." His voice conveyed true apologies as she nodded.

"I'll see you around." She gave him a flirtatious smirk that he knew all too well. But work was work, and it would stay that way. There would be no fraternization, no sleeping with coworkers to keep his mind occupied. He'd had that life before her, had it during their break, and now he didn't want to go back. He didn't want meaningless hookups after having the real deal. He'd realized that during their break and with the whole bridesmaids debacle. It wasn't him anymore, Rory having changed him significantly.

"Logan!" Jeremy's voice boomed as he walked into the conference room. For being such a small man, he had a voice that rivaled Mitchum's. Jeremy reminded Logan of Doyle when it came to looks - short statured, suits that hung on him, receding hairline. He shook the man's hand, Jeremy adding unnecessary vigor. "It's great to have you here. Dylan is running late, which isn't unusual at all for him."

"Jeremy, give the boy a break," Colleen said. "We don't need to scare him off on his first official day." Colleen was an older woman, most likely around his father's age. She kept her hair down, letting it fall to her shoulders. A pair of reading glasses were perched on her nose. "Let's go ahead and start without Dylan. I'd give him five minutes before being here anyway." The trio took their seats at the small table. That was another thing that drew Logan to Premier, the hominess of the business. Rather than a large conference room table that sat twenty, it was a simple dining table in the middle of a much too large room.

"So, your contract is all drawn up. You can look over it before signing it, but the rundown is simple," Jeremy started. "Salary is fifty a year, with an annual increase of fifteen percent. We know it's not a lot compared to the other offers you got." Logan knew that Jeremy was referring to HPG and his father's offer to bring him back into the company after Rory's refusal. "Bonuses are thrown in twice a year, which you will qualify for depending on the subscription sales. Three weeks paid vacation each year, along with all major holidays off. Hours are from seven to four, but considering your position, are a little more flexible depending on circumstances." He nodded as Dylan strode in.

Dylan was the same age as Logan - twenty-five and fresh out of UCLA. He had a very carefree attitude that made Logan a little nervous, but only because Dylan reminded Logan of himself. "Nice of you to join us," Colleen said snidely as the boy sat down in the empty seat, motioning for them to continue.

"As I was saying, hours are flexible, especially given the need for meetings or business lunches. Are there any questions concerning the contract?" Logan thought for a minute, going over everything Mitchum had taught him to put into and keep out of contracts.

"Are there any health benefits or a 401K?" Jeremy shuffled through the papers, until he found what he was looking for.

"Yes to both. Health covers medical, dental, and vision. There's also a way you can set up an emergency fund account through the insurance company in the case of a major medical emergency. Colleen has drawn up the paperwork for your 401K, so all you need is to look it over and sign." Logan nodded. "If there's anything concerning your contract further down the line, or even an hour after you sign it, we'll talk it through and see what we can do. Now that my long winded legal mumbo-jumbo is out of the way…" Dylan cut in.

"First of all, sorry I'm late," he told Logan. "Premier, as you know, is a rival to HPG at this point. Given your recent _estrangement_ , we need to ensure that HPG and Premier are kept separated." Logan sighed before speaking.

"You don't need to worry about me spying on Premier for HPG or any other espionage. I've cut ties with my family - with my father to be more specific. I can assure you that I am working for you one-hundred percent." Dylan just nodded.

"Okay. Also, given your background with HPG, I'm under the impression you already know what your job entails and how to conduct business." Logan nodded at this assumption, it being correct. "Well, in that case, welcome to the team, Logan." The four stood, Logan shaking each of their hands again with a smile on his face. He was ready for what this life was going to throw his way. That fact both excited him and terrified him, but this was it. This was his chance to make it on his own, to show that he didn't need anybody but himself to succeed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Logan," Dylan called out from across the newsroom as Logan was locking up his office at the end of the day. It was nearing eight o'clock - four hours later than he was supposed to stay. After having a lengthy discussion with Colleen about the overtime hours he was putting in over the past two months since he'd signed the contract, she'd agreed to let him work later due to the circumstances he was dealing with when it came to his coping methods after the break up.

"What's up, Dylan?" He didn't want to make small talk with the boy. It was odd, Logan seeing Dylan as a boy despite them being the same age. He figured part of it was due to Dylan's carefree attitude - the same one Logan had once possessed. It was a little sad to see Dylan with a new girl on his arm every week, partying every night. He didn't know what he was missing with a stable relationship. Then, Logan's reality came crashing back. He didn't have a stable relationship either, not anymore.

"Me and some of the guys are meeting up at this club down the block. Want to come?" It was the first time he'd been invited out with anybody from the office, and he wasn't about to turn down some booze.

"Why not?" Dylan smiled, waiting for Logan to finish up with the lock of his door. When he walked over to the other man, Dylan just smiled. Logan wasn't sure why exactly Dylan looked like the Cheshire Cat, and quite frankly, he didn't care.

"So, what's the story?" Dylan finally asked, breaking the silence of their walk from the office to the club. "Why would a Huntzberger, or a journalist for that matter, ever want to leave HPG, the biggest journalism company in the US - if not the world?" Logan sighed, knowing it was going to come up eventually. He even had an inkling that it would be Dylan to bring it up considering his obvious problems with Logan being a Huntzberger.

"Well, father dearest - aka Mitchum - never cared about what I wanted. It was all about keeping him happy and business associates. My well being be damned. When a big business deal fell through, I realized that no matter what I did, Mitchum would never be okay with it. Sure, all I did was screw up, but… I didn't want to be a pawn in whatever plan he had for me. So, I left." He purposefully left out the parts about Rory, about how she pushed him to be better and to succeed at whatever he put his mind to. Despite them splitting, she was the reason he was at Premier Media to begin with. She was the reason he was putting in thirteen hour days and even longer nights working from home. Even though they weren't together, he wanted to make her proud.

"Wow," Dylan finally said after a moment of silence. "That's… I figured being a Huntzberger you'd have all these options and doors wide open for you." Logan laughed at that thought, thinking back to his and Rory's first fight about those 'doors.'

"That's the thing about Hartford Society, Dylan. When you grow up in it, you know how it works. Children carry on the legacy no matter what. My good friend Colin is going to law school. Why? His dad's a lawyer and he's the heir, despite his passion for business. Another friend, Finn. He's taking over the Morgan Hotel Industry despite a passion for photography. And I was destined to take over HPG. From the outside, you see options and doors because of money and last names. We don't. We see it as one door that we're being pushed through. I was lucky to have a passion for journalism and business - two major factors in HPG. But it was the way that it was forced upon me that made me realize that that's not who I am. I'm not my father, and I intend to prove it here." He motioned to the city around them. Dylan just nodded as they walked through the front door to the club.

It wasn't the type of club Logan was used to, just a bouncer. There was no buy in, no list or line or name dropping. It was loud and bright, bodies pressed together as they made their way to a table that had their coworkers - Suzanne included. She gave him a smile as he sat down, Dylan sitting on the other side with his arm slung around one of the interns. Not only did Dylan remind Logan of himself, he reminded him of Mitchum, which made Logan uncomfortable. How similar was he to his father if he saw both himself and Mitchum in Dylan?

The night went well, getting to know the coworkers who were there and learning more about them. They got a look at his life too, but he was careful as to what he told them. He was used holding back facts for appearance purposes, but this time was different. He was holding back details because he didn't know if he could trust the drunken group. That didn't mean Logan didn't get drunk, because he did, stumbling out of the club. Hailing a taxi, he fell in before giving the cabbie his address. Alcohol was the one thing that helped him get his mind off her, but not this time. No, this time, his phone was pressed to his ear as the phone rang.

"Hello?" Honor said groggily. "Logan? It's too early." Logan didn't say anything, not knowing what to say at first. He thought a moment before speaking.

"I fucked up," he finally choked out. When he was staying with Colin, the topic of Rory never came up. He didn't bring her up, and Colin knew better. Instead, it was late night drinking and games of pool and poker to pass the time before he left for California. "I really fucked up with that damn ultimatum. Why did I make her choose, Honor? Why did I tell her all or nothing?" His sister sighed softly and he could hear her get out of bed and walk out of a room.

"Logan, call her. The phone works both ways." He nodded, knowing she wouldn't see his response. "You made a mistake. Try and fix it."

"I think this is beyond fixing. She looked so broken that day, and even if she did take me back, Lorelai would have major problems, and you know how Ace is when it comes to her mom's opinion." He stopped, taking a breath as the lump that had been resting in his throat began to rise, tears stinging his eyes.

"I can't tell you that trying to fix it is going to. But by trying, you'll show her how much you really do love her. I have a feeling she'll understand that you were hurt. She saw her future as wide open, and you were there, telling her that you were moving and that if she went with you, those wide open options would be limited." He knew Honor was right. He had told her they would factor each other in, but had he really done that when he proposed? He had told her she could apply to the Chronicle or other papers in the area, but was that what she had wanted? He had really fucked up that day. He had not only given her an ultimatum, but he'd proposed in a way that made her uncomfortable and in a way that was not Rory. He hung up, debating on calling her or not. Instead of making a decision, the cabbie told him they'd arrived. With a hushed thank you, he paid the man before climbing up and to the door of the house he was renting. Maybe, just maybe, he could make this house a home all by himself.

Rory defined the past three years of his life, an extra six months if he was counting before they were officially together. She was a part in his successes and stood by him in his failures. He realized he didn't know how to _be_ without her. Even in his inebriated state, he decided one thing easily enough. He had to define himself without her. He didn't know who this new Logan Huntzberger was, but he needed to find out. Falling into bed, he kicked off his shoes and allowed himself to sleep peacefully for the first night since she turned him down.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been three months of defining himself when he realized who he was. He was a man who wanted to succeed and pushed himself to do so. He realized he didn't _need_ anybody else to push him, not anymore at least. But when he found that person who made him feel that spark again, that go-for-it attitude, he held on tight. She wasn't Rory, that was for sure, but she was herself. She wasn't using him for his name or his trust fund. No, she cared for him as _him_ and that was good enough.

They'd met through Dylan, surprisingly enough. However, it had been through a business dinner and not a party or bar as one would have suspected from the boy. She was the Marketing Director of a smaller magazine publication who wanted to get in on what Premier had to offer. Dark brown hair, fair skin, green eyes. Her looks weren't stunning exactly, not like the Barbies he'd slept with and nothing like Rory, but she attracted him with her wit and humor, and she wasn't horrible looking by far.

He didn't want to consider her a rebound like Finn and Colin had several times. It had been nearly four months since his denied proposal, three months of wallowing before finally finding it himself to put himself back out there. And with that, he found Maggie who had stuck with him the next three. "Hey, babe," he called out from the door as soon as he stepped into the house. He knew she'd be there since she'd stayed the night and didn't work in the morning. When he was met with her giving him a kiss once he hit the living room, a smile on his face when she did, he knew he was right in the assumption. "I'm thinking we order some take out and catch up on the DVR?"

"Sounds great. I'll grab the menus." He sat his laptop bag down on the couch, thinking back to his day at work. Colleen had told him he was doing a good job, to keep up the good work. He was making something of himself, and not as slowly and surely as he thought it would be. It was blindsiding him how easy it all came to him. And it wasn't how easy it was either - considering how easily being at HPG came to him, and how much he screwed that up. It was how much he loved his job and what he was doing. "What are you thinking? I'm stuck between Thai and Italian." She stood in front of him, holding up the two menus.

"Italian sounds good." In the back of his mind, he was screaming Thai. It was what Rory would have chosen. But he wasn't with Rory, and he only always chose Thai because he knew that when she couldn't decide, she really only wanted Thai. He couldn't figure out why he let himself make choices based on what she would have wanted despite her walking away six months prior. It was a habit he was slowly breaking, for instance choosing Italian over Thai. "I'm going to go get changed," he then told her as she held the phone up to her ear. She kissed him softly before he walked into the bedroom.

He quickly stripped out of the suit he'd donned for his meeting that morning, changing into an old Yale shirt and a pair of grey sweats. For the first time, he didn't look at the velvet blue box sitting in the drawer, completely overlooking it as he looked for the sweats he wanted. It wasn't an accomplishment he acknowledged - at least not consciously. But it was an accomplishment nonetheless.

"Food will be here in a half hour," Maggie told him as he sat next to her on the couch, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Her head rested on his chest as the two reveled in the moment. It was quiet, peaceful, calm, everything the two wanted at that moment. Finally, Maggie spoke to break their silence.

"Who was she?" she asked softly, looking up at him. He returned the look, confused. Who was who? He didn't quite understand the question, so he continued to look confused. "The girl the ring was for? I noticed it when I was grabbing a shirt the other day. Who was she?" He bit his bottom lip, sighing softly and not wanting to answer that question. God, he did not want to answer that question. And with that question came the crashing reality he hadn't realized. He hadn't even looked at the ring today, not even when he was grabbing the sweats. He didn't know why he felt guilty, but he did even though he was internally screaming at himself not to.

"Her name was Rory," he said softly. "We went to Yale together. We were casual at first, and then I fell for her." He didn't realize he was smiling as he told Maggie this. "She was there for it all, when I graduated, went to London, jumped off a cliff in Costa Rica, left HPG, when I got this job. But, when I thought we were ready for the next step, she didn't." He looked at Maggie as his smile fell from his face.

"Well, she doesn't know what she's missing, then." She kissed him softly, cupping his face in her hands as their lips moved together. As quickly as the kiss began did it end with the doorbell ringing to signal the arrival of their dinner.

"I'll get it," he told her softly, standing and walking to the door. He opened the door to the delivery man, taking the bags and paying for the food. When he walked back in, Maggie had already gotten cans of Pepsi from the fridge and forks from the drawer. He was surprised at how well she took that backstory. Obviously, she had been the one to bring it up, but he had been sure it would have sent her running. Most relationships - especially that early on - didn't survive the telling of a story like that, at least they didn't in the movies. Maybe that's what surprised him the most. Rory had been his first real relationship, so he had nothing to base any future relationships on. He couldn't use theirs because you can never base relationships on the first love because it held too much. First loves were messy and dirty, having too much love and passion and angst. You couldn't hold a flame to it.

"Don't worry about it," she told him as he sat back down, handing her her food. Again, he looked at her confused. She did that quite often, bring up a topic that made no sense or make a comment on something they'd talked about a week before out of the blue. "She helped shape you. She's a part of you, no matter how much you want to deny it. What matters is where you go from there. You can either let it hold you back, or you can use it to your advantage." He knew she was right as he nodded, taking a bite of the Chicken Parmesan. How much would he let Rory affect his life from that point on?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't think I've written one of these for this story yet. Exciting! I was going through the reviews, thank you for the feedback so far. I love reading them, even if it's just a 'keep writing.' I wanted to touch base. This is a Rogan. I know the feeling chelsbaby, where we see Logan with other people. In all honesty, I close the tab before I finish the story. But, this is Rogan. I am telling you that right now! So, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. We'll be seeing Rory soon. Enjoy!

"Logan, we have a serious problem," Jeremy said as soon as he stepped foot in the building. It was seven o'clock in the morning, he was hung over, and he did not want to deal with whatever crisis Jeremy thought they were having at that moment.

"Whatever it is, it can wait five minutes for me to get a coffee." He brushed Jeremy aside, making his way to the kitchenette, but Jeremy just followed. Looking around, he saw the chaos. He wasn't sure what was causing the chaos, but it was complete and utter chaos, not the usual hustle and bustle. Everybody seemed to be panicking, which made him wake up faster than any cup of coffee ever could. "What the hell is going on?"

"The servers crashed last night. We've lost _everything_ for this next issue, Logan. Everything! The deadline is in ten hours, and there's no way we can get it all finished in time." Logan's instincts kicked in from when he worked at the London office, seeing something similar happen to one of the papers in Cardiff.

"I can fix this," he said calmly. He sat his briefcase down on one of the unoccupied chairs before turning to the office. "Everybody!" he yelled. "Listen up!" The chaos stopped as they all turned to him. He took off his jacket and tie, setting them with the briefcase. "I know you're all panicking right now. This is not the end of the world. All reporters: for right now, retype your articles. I'll call a friend of mine who's good in the IT area of this and see what we can do to restore everything that was lost. This is why we have our hard copies and our notes. If you don't have hard copies, rewrite your articles. If you have hard copies, retype them and then put them on my desk. Editors: meet with me and Jeremy in the conference room in five minutes. Call all reporters who are not working today or who are out on assignment. Bring them here. It's all hands on deck." Turning to Jeremy, he grabbed his belongings off the chair as he made his way to his office, the man following close behind.

"How are you going to fix this? Half those reporters have articles that took them more than six hours to write!" Logan kept his cool as Jeremy continued to freak out.

"Jeremy, this is one of those times I need you to trust me, okay? Call Colleen. I know she has something going on, but try to get ahold of her while I talk to the editors. Also, get Dylan in here. After my meeting with the editors, I'm going to call an old friend of mine and see what he can do, okay? Deep breaths, Jer. I've done this before." The man just nodded, pulling out his phone and dialing Colleen's number. Logan left him in the office, making his way to the conference room where the editors had assembled. They all looked stressed and frantic, nothing like what he'd like to see from them in a situation like this.

"Okay, guys," he said softly, sitting on the edge of the table as they gathered around. "I know this is worst-case scenario, and I know most of you probably haven't seen something like this happen. I want to tell you guys right now, it will be okay. We will get this issue out in its entirety. But, I will tell you guys this. How we handle this situation will make or break us, okay? It's important for our reporters to see as us a united front." It felt like their eyes were burning holes in him. "So, here's how it's going to go. Compile a list of the articles you had your reporters write and touch base with them all. See which articles we have hard copies of and which ones we don't. Let me know once you find that out. After that, start helping your reporters in any way you can. I know we have some slow typers out there, scribe if you have to. A reporter asks something of you, say yes - within reason, okay? Now, let's get this issue out." The team of editors left him, and he rolled his sleeves up as Jeremy walked in, looking even more stressed out than he already was.

"Dylan's on his way in, but Colleen's out of the state. She's trying to get back, but no promises. What are we going to do?" Jeremy sat down, and Logan looked at him with a smile.

"We're going to get this article out. Call up that coffee place down the street, see if they can get some donuts and coffee delivered. I don't care how much we have to pay for the delivery if they don't deliver. Get it here. Then go out there and get started on helping out however you can. As I was telling the editors, do whatever is needed, scribe if you have to. I'm going to call up my buddy, Nick, and see what he can do recon wise." Jeremy nodded, walking out of the room, Logan following behind. However, Logan took the route to his office while Jeremy went towards the bustle of the newsroom.

Sitting at his desk, he breathed out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He pulled out the phone and dialed a familiar number. He'd worked with Nick and HPG, and he walked Logan through every step he could think of to recover any of the documents they'd had prior to the servers crashing. When he and Nick finally hung up, he looked at the clock. Half their time was up, three hours to their deadline. He looked at the documents they'd recovered, knowing he needed to meet with the editors again. He knew he had told them to meet with him when they had an idea of where they were at article wise, but he'd ushered them out of the office as he worked on the server.

He walked out of the office, voice yelling over the bustle again. "Editors, meet with me in my office!" With that, he walked back into the office, taking a seat behind his desk and turning his attention towards the articles he'd managed to salvage. The group crowded around as he read off the articles that had been saved. "With that, meet with your teams and figure out which articles still need to be written. Afterwards, meet with me and we'll figure out which ones are going to get printed. I know it's not ideal to decide which articles go in before reading them, but I'm going to trust your judgement. Get them emailed to me ASAP with hard copies on my desk." The group left him as he leaned back in his chair, breathing out a sigh. It was the first big crisis since Logan started working six months ago, since Premier came to be nearly two months prior.

It was four fifty-seven. Logan stood behind Suzette as she worked on the finishing touches. Jeremy stood beside him on the phone with Colleen who was still en route and would be there in a half hour. Dylan was standing on the other side, biting his nails. Logan had his phone out, dialing the number of the printing company they were going through to try and buy some more time.

"Hey, Sly, it's Logan from Premier," he said. "I just wanted to make sure you guys got the new issue. We've been having some server problems, so I just wanted to confirm."

"We haven't gotten anything from you guys yet. You do realize your deadline is in less than two minutes, right?" Sly wasn't one that would give them a break. The news world stopped for nothing, not even server problems.

"I'm well aware of our deadline, Sly. We're sending it again right now," he replied as Suzanne did a quick once-over before hitting the send button. Everybody waited with baited breath, all eyes on Logan as he looked around at them. He knew that even though he told them it wasn't the end of the world if the issue didn't get out, he knew he was lying - they all knew he was lying. If this issue didn't get out, they'd be losing thousands and their reputation would be ruined. "Did you get it?" He took a deep breath, eyes closing as the man on the other end of the conversation finally spoke.

"Somebody's looking out for you guys at Premier. Got it at five fifty-nine fifty-nine seconds. Congrats." Logan didn't know how to respond, not right away. They did it!

"Thank you." He hung up the phone, breathing a sigh of relief as his eyes opened to see the group of reporters, editors, Dylan, and Jeremy all looking at him. With his signature smirk, he broke the anticipation filled silence. "That's how we do it at Premier Media!" Dylan and Jeremy shook his hand, bringing him in for hugs as the rest of the room hooped and hollered in celebration.

With this celebration, his mind went back to his senior year at Yale. He couldn't believe he had uttered the same phrase - different publication - three years later. It was back when his love life had been where he'd wanted it. Sure, life hadn't been easier back then given his standings with his father, but he had everything else he'd wanted. He'd had the friends and the girl and the charm. Now, all he had was the charm it seemed, his friends not finding their way to the West Coast too often anymore.

As the editors and reporters started streaming out, Logan, Dylan, and Jeremy all sat around the 'conference' table nursing cold coffees from that morning. As the reporters and editors drank theirs, the trio were too invested in making sure things went smoothly that theirs went untouched.

"Well, boys. It seems like I missed the bash of a lifetime," Colleen said, sitting in her chair next to them. Logan just closed his eyes, taking another drink. God, he needed something stronger than coffee, something to take his mind off the reminder he'd had that day. The whole day reminded him of Ace. He hadn't thought of that name in a while, always thinking of her by her name, not the nickname he'd given her practically from day one. His Ace.

"Oh yeah. Loads of fun," Dylan responded, words dripping with sarcasm. Logan just chuckled.

"We really didn't do anything. It was all Logan over there. I don't know what it was, Huntzberger genes or he's just that good, but he saved our asses!" Jeremy looked at Logan with pride, and he noticed Colleen do the same.

"Don't give my name any credit for that. Mitchum may have taught me a lot, and one of those things was pawning a crisis like that over to the right hand man. However, Yale Daily News taught me how to handle what just happened. Let's just say the editor and chief had a mental break down, causing the entire staff to quit. Me and her friend stepped up to the plate and got the paper out with seconds to spare." He was smiling as he told the story. Dylan and Jeremy stood, hands squeezing his shoulder before they left, leaving him and Colleen together.

"Her friend was the girl, I assume?" Colleen asked. Logan just nodded, taking another drink. "It's okay to miss her. It's okay to look back on those times with happiness instead of regret or bitterness." He nodded again, standing and grabbing his things. When he reached the door, she spoke one last time. "Keep up the good work." Glancing up at her, he flashed the Huntzberger smirk before responding.

"I intend to."


	5. Chapter 5

He'd just gotten back from New York, from visiting Honor and Josh. The snowfall reminded him of Ace, of their time at the Vineyard - even though it hadn't snowed. It was probably from the fact that it was February, a time full of happy couples and chocolate hearts. However, it was on his trip he realized that the East Coast wasn't his home anymore, if it ever was to begin with. He'd made a home in California - in Palo Alto - with his coworkers, his new friends, Maggie. He smiled, knowing he'd be walking into the house and she'd be there. It had been a fast decision, the lease on her apartment was ending and he had too much empty space in the house, so she'd moved in. He was known for his impulsivity, and letting his girlfriend of three months move in with him was one of those impulsive decisions.

"You're home!" she practically yelled as soon as he stepped foot in the door. Her lips crashed into his, a smile on his face. Dropping his bags, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. When they separated, lungs screaming for air, he still had that smile. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He wasn't lying. Sure, some days he wished he was coming home to Ace instead, but Maggie was there. She knew the story, she understood some of his hesitancies, she accepted it for what it was. Did he love her? Not yet, but he could see himself loving her someday. It had taken him nearly a year to admit those feelings to Ace, Maggie was no different. Her lips captured his again, holding her close as the couple made their way into the bedroom.

Her fingers played with the hem of his t-shirt, brushing against his sides softly. Walking her back to the bed, her knees hitting the edge and sitting down, he finally slipped the fabric off, letting it fall to the ground. The smile on her face said it all as she pulled him back to her. They moved together, dancing the familiar routine they'd perfected.

She was straddling him, lips locked as she pressed her body against his. She'd been stripped of the jeans and the blouse, leaving her in her black lace bra and panties. He was down to his boxers, his arms wrapped around her to keep her flush against him. Her hands had become entwined in his hair, making sure he didn't pull away too soon. Unfortunately, their heated embrace was disturbed by the shrill sound of his phone ringing.

"No," she murmured against his lips, but he sighed and pulled away. Without looking at the caller id, he flipped the phone open and pressed it against his ear.

"Hello?" he asked. A smile was still on his face, Maggie still on his lap. His fingers drew patterns on the skin of her back as her lips found his neck.

"Hey, it's me," the voice said on the other end. Feminine. Familiar. It took him a second to place the name with the voice, but when he did…

"Lorelai?" He had to be hallucinating. No, had he been hallucinating, it would have been Ace on the other end of the phone.

"There's been an accident." He could hear her voice shaking as she said those words, and his heart dropped. A million questions bombarded his brain: what happened, is it Ace, is she okay. He maneuvered Maggie off him, seeing her face drop as he did so. He leaned forward, trying to comprehend.

"What?" Of all the questions floating in his brain, the one worded one was the one that would hopefully make it all make sense.

"I know you're upset, but this is bigger than that, you know. And it seems like you should be here." The look of confusion plastered on his face was wiped off when he realized what was going on. His eyes closed, face relaxed as he breathed out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding.

"How bad is it, Lorelai?" he asked. He could hear Maggie getting dressed, and he honestly felt bad. But Ace - Rory - would come first. After three years together, she'd come first. The hesitancy the elder Lorelai had before speaking spoke volumes in itself.

"It's bad, Logan. Just… Just try to get here, okay? Soon?" He mumbled an agreement before shutting the phone. Looking at Maggie, she just nodded as his eyes tried conveying an apology his words could not. How could he explain it to her? He was leaving for Connecticut because something happened to his ex-almost-fiance. He was leaving her high and dry for a girl he hadn't spoken to in nine months. But that's how it should have been. Maggie… As amazing as she was, was not Rory. She didn't encapture him like Ace had, didn't hold his heart in the palm of her hand. No.

He stood, pulling his clothes back on and grabbing his phone off the bedside table again, calling a familiar number. "Hey, Finn. I know I've been kind of MIA, and I'm sorry. I need a huge favor. How soon can you get your jet to the San Francisco International Airport?" He looked back at Maggie one more time before grabbing his bag and walking out, still on the phone waiting for Finn's answer.

"Logan, man. Umm…" He could tell Finn was trying to wrap his brain around Logan calling and asking for this favor. "I just flew in to check up on you, considering I haven't heard from you since you got together with that Maggie chick. Where do you need to go on such short notice?" He swallowed, not wanting to admit it. He got in the car, switching the phone to the bluetooth as he made his way to the airport.

"I just got a call from Lorelai. Something happened to Ace. She wouldn't say what, but it doesn't sound good, Finn. And I _have_ to be there. I fucked up, but I can't lose her. I can't deal with knowing that I may not get another chance with her, Finn. I just… I _can't_." He ended his rant, not realizing tears were in his eyes until they fell onto his cheeks.

"I'll make a couple calls," Finn told him. "Just show your ID at the information desk. You'll be escorted to the plane where I'll be waiting. She'll be okay, mate." Logan hung up, hoping Finn was right. She had to be okay, if only to know that he still loved her. That's all he wanted, for her to know that walking away was the biggest mistake he'd made, that he loved her more than anything else, that he wanted to be with her.

He parked the car in the airport lot, knowing that it would cost him an arm and a leg depending on when he got back. For all he knew, he might not come back any time soon depending on how bad it was. He didn't let himself linger on the worst-case scenario, focusing on just getting to see her again.

By the time he got to the information desk, an hour had passed since he'd spoken to Lorelai. Had it really been an hour already? It was eleven at night in Hartford, so he decided he'd call her when he landed, knowing the flight had to be at least six hours, if not pushing more towards eight. Would eight hours be too late? Again, he pushed that thought from his mind, focusing on knowing he was going to be there soon enough.

He flashed his ID at the security guard at the desk, being led past TSA and the metal detectors, straight towards the private terminal where he saw Finn's plane waiting. He walked outside and then up the steps. The first thing that hit him was the smell of alcohol. It being Finn's plane and all, he shouldn't have been surprised.

"My god, man!" Logan called out, setting his bags down. "Did you drink an entire liquor store on the way?" He heard Finn laugh from his seat, standing and embracing Logan in a quick hug before the two separated.

"Drank? Half a liquor store. Spilled? A whole other story. Sit and fill me in on _everything_ I've missed since us East Coast Folk have been exiled into bi-weekly emails!" Logan filled him in on work and Maggie. Their conversation turned to Finn and his latest troubles, Colin, and some of the other friends they'd made over the years. However, the topic of Rory didn't come up until it was almost time to land.

He could feel his ears popping as he was woken up by Finn nudging him awake. "We're landing, mate." Looking out the window, he was met with the blinding sunlight making Hartford glow. And then it all came crashing back, knowing she was down there in a hospital bed. "Talk to me," Finn told him. Three words and everything came pouring out like a faucet.

"I want us to be able to have that second chance, Finn. I know I messed up, and I tried moving on. Maggie is such a sweet girl, really. And if Ace hadn't been part of the picture, I could see myself with Maggie. But I dropped her like you drop a one night stand, Finn. And the look in her eyes, that hurt in her eyes. I didn't have to tell her it was about Ace, she knew. I'm scared I won't get that second chance." Finn just nodded, letting Logan take a few deep breaths.

"You'll get that second chance, Logan." All Logan could think of was the amount of second chances they'd gotten already. After their first big fight, after the bridesmaids. But really, their second chance was with him plummeting off a cliff and almost dying. That was their second chance. What was the likelihood they'd get another? But deep down, he still had hope that this was their real second chance.

When the plane finally landed, the two friends parted with promises of seeing each other sooner rather than later. Logan grabbed his bags, making his way out of the airport to hail a taxi. His bags were placed in the trunk as he told the driver to take him to Hartford Medical Center. In his mind, he was trying to prepare himself for whatever he came face to face with. All the possibilities filled his mind, taking up so much of his thoughts that he didn't realize they'd arrived at the hospital until the driver roused him from his thoughts with a gruff 'sir.'

"Sorry," he mumbled, paying the man before climbing out and grabbing his bags. Taking a few deep breaths, he pulled out his phone and texted Lorelai asking where she was. When he got a response, he walked inside. He hadn't been inside the Hartford Medical Center since Richard's heart attack, flying in from New York just to be there for Ace. God, it seemed like so long ago, but in reality, it had been a year. It amazed him how much could change in a year.

He sat his bags down when he saw Luke holding onto Lorelai as the doctors and nurses rushed into the room. The woman was crying, screaming, and Logan knew. He walked over. He had to see her, one last time. He had to tell her, he had to know she knew. But instead, he was met with Chris holding him back. He could see into the room, see the doctors charging the defibulators, her body coming off the bed with every shock. It seemed to go on for eternity as his eyes were flooded with tears.

"She has to know, Chris," he managed to choke out as the doctors started chest compressions. "She has to know I love her." The man held him close, cradling the boy's head as he cried.

"She knows, Logan. She's always known." He heard the alarm go off, no noise coming from the room except the doctor calling out the time of death. February 17th, 2008 at six thirty-one in the morning, Logan's chance at a second chance was lost. At six thirty-one, his entire world came crashing down.

 _Butt-faced miscreant. You jump, I jump, Jack. If you think climbing in that window was hard… I love you. I hate when you work blue, Ace. You let me walk into a room full of girls you've had sex with. I love you, Rory! I was punishing you. I'm proud of you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Will you marry me?_ He was never going to get the answer he was hoping for.

A/N: I know! Hate me all you want! This was in the cards from the beginning of this story, but I will assure you it's Rogan. You'll see!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I know it's been a little while since my last update, and I apologize. I'm gearing up to go back to school - something I never thought I'd say. But here I am ready to embark on being a college student! Thank you all for the comments and reviews. It makes my day! So, here's the latest chapter, and I hope you all enjoy.

Her skin was white, lips a pale blue. The sheet was pulled up to just below her collarbone, her arms at her side. He expected her to wake up, the sight looking like she was sleeping. His sleeping beauty. He let go of Lorelai's hand, taking a step forward. His hand shook as his fingertips grazed the top of her hand, her skin cold. He moved his hand to caress her cheek, bruises having formed across her cheekbone, a cut underneath her eye. He still didn't know the story of the accident, of what really happened. Quite frankly, he wasn't ready to know how he lost his Ace.

Glancing around, he saw that Lorelai had left the room, hearing the sobs from the waiting room once again. He was alone. "Hey, Ace," he said softly, sitting next to her, hand holding hers. "I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened. I should have been here with you. I shouldn't have walked away, I should have called. God, I was an idiot, Rory. I was an idiot with a bruised ego. I didn't even know you were traveling! I'm proud of you, I hope you knew that. And I hope you knew that I love you, Rory. So much, and I wish I had gotten here sooner. I wish you would have heard me say it one more time. I just hope you knew how much I love you."

" _You amaze me, Rory Gilmore. Every day, everything that you do, everything that you are. This past year I learned that I don't know as much as I thought I knew." A look of confusion flashed over her face. What was he saying? He chuckled nervously as he continued. "If that makes sense. Sorry, I'm nervous. I didn't think I'd be nervous." The crowd chuckled with him as he composed himself. "What I'm trying to say is that I don't know a lot, but I know that I love you. And I want to be with you. Forever. Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?" He opened the blue box he'd pulled out of his pocket and a look of adoration and surprise flashed across her face. He was so sure she was going to say yes, but then he saw the wheels turning in her head._

She should have said yes, she should have been his fiancee, his wife. He should have agreed to long distance, agreed to a long engagement. He should have done everything he could have to keep her his, but he didn't. He walked away from the love of his life because of a bruised ego. She'd bruised his ego many times, but he never walked away. Sure, he walked away when she called him Judi Dench, but that was different. That was a second meeting, not a marriage proposal.

"I'm so sorry I walked away from you, from us. I talked to Chris, and he said you knew I'd come back. Well, here I am Ace. Please, just come back now. I came back, now it's your turn." But he knew she wasn't coming back.

"It wasn't something you'd have expected," Lorelai said from the doorway finally, her voice monotonous. He'd never heard her so…quiet - to say the least. "It wasn't a drunk driver or a shoot out. No, Rory had to go out in style. She was on her way to New York to visit Finn. Despite your obvious _parting,_ she kept in contact with him. She hit black ice on the highway, at least that's what they told us. Head on with the median. I want to believe it was painless, want to believe that she…" Logan nodded, understanding what she was getting at so that maybe neither of them had to deal with that pain. Closing his eyes, he thought about her trip. She had been on her way to visit Finn, somebody who had flown to San Francisco to check up on him. Somebody who wasn't letting on what he knew.

"So when Finn flew into San Francisco…?"

"He knew. He knew before I did. She was taken to New York Presbyterian at first, Finn being the last call on her phone, so they called him. He then called me. At that point I knew I had to call you, so I did. And now here we are…" It made sense why he had smelled so much alcohol, more than he normally did when he flew with Finn. It made sense why he caught Finn looking like somebody had died, something he'd joked about. God, he'd joked about it.

"I'll let you say goodbye," he told Lorelai, finally standing. He leaned down, kissing Rory's forehead one last time before walking out. Turning around at the doorway, he saw Lorelai sit next to her daughter, tears in her eyes again. It was a heartbreaking scene, to see the Gilmore Girls separated, a finality nobody wanted to see. Sure, they fought, they argued. But never were they permanently separated. He pushed off the doorframe, head hung as he walked back into the waiting room. Chris walked in the room that held his daughter, leaving Logan and Luke alone.

He sat next to the older man, not ready to break the silence. The silence was safe, letting him hide from what just happened. His mind was still racing. He just couldn't understand why it had to happen, or why Finn hadn't mentioned anything. Obviously Finn knew it was bad, and he let Logan walk into the hospital with false hope - false hope that Finn had given him. He knew Finn was just trying to be supportive, was hoping for the best because Rory had been his friend too.

"I never liked you," Luke said, finally breaking through Logan's thoughts. He looked at the older man, confusion written on his face like Luke's obvious heartbreak. "I thought you were too snobby for her. Even at the Vineyard. I guess I just didn't understand love enough to see yours. I never told Rory, just Lorelai, about my hesitations. But I see now… I've seen over the past few months whenever Rory would stop by when she could during the campaign, that she really did love you. And I don't know why I ever thought you weren't good enough. Maybe it was still seeing her as that nine year old in the diner with her mom paying in dollar bills, maybe it was because she was raised Stars Hollow's Princess. I never wanted to see her as that grown woman who had found love, who had blended herself so well between Hartford Society and Stars Hollow small town living." Logan understood Luke had to talk about something, had to have some sort of composure. And this was his way of getting it, rambling just like she had. "I think catching you two at the vow renewal didn't help. I think I kept seeing you as that 'no strings' guy rather than the boyfriend she had. I don't know exactly. But I really wish this hadn't have happened. I would have loved for her to marry you, Logan. We all did, even Lorelai although she won't admit it."

Logan looked at Luke who had placed his hand on the blonde's knee reassuringly. Luke didn't look back, and Logan knew it had something to do with the tears he could see glistening on his cheeks. "Did you know she thought she was pregnant?" Luke then asked, leaving Logan shocked and confused. "Right after you left, shortly after starting the campaign. She thought she was pregnant. She was so worried about it all. She wasn't ready to become a mother, she wasn't ready to give up what she'd worked for. At the same time, she was worried about what you would think. If you'd be upset, if you'd take her back. She had a whole plan and everything for when that stick turned blue. It didn't, and she told us she was relieved, but when I saw her the next time… She seemed a little heartbroken. It was almost as if fate was giving you guys a second chance if she'd been pregnant. She wanted to find a reason to go and try and win you back or vice versa."

Logan smiled softly. He could imagine their children - had in fact several times. He saw a little girl being their first, her hair, his brown eyes. Her wit would exceed even theirs, and her sense of adventure would give Logan heart attacks. Their second would have been born two years after their daughter - who would obviously been the fourth Lorelai. Their son they'd name after Luke or Richard, maybe both. He'd have the blonde hair and those blue eyes that seemed to be only found in Gilmore Girls. He'd be the first boy to have them. He'd be book smart, to so smooth with the ladies, but he'd make up for it in the ability to draw them in with his banter. He would be able to argue the pants off any lawyer. Both would be allowed to figure out what they wanted to do, who they wanted to be with no pressure from either him or Rory to go one way or the other. Mitchum would be kept far away. They wouldn't want their son to be influenced just because Hartford deemed him an heir. They'd move to a house most likely in Stars Hollow. Lorelai would learn to love him, or at least put up with him. He'd lose the title Limo Boy, and he'd have her respect.

The smile dropped when he remembered that the fantasy was just that, a fantasy. None of that would happen because of black ice. He couldn't believe that black ice was what took her away from him. A part of him felt like there was more to the story, hoped there was more. He just couldn't believe it could be something as simple as that. But it was. Black ice, snow, a perfect combination to take her away from them, from him.


	7. Update

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a while since my last update - like 5 or 6 weeks. Has it really been that long? I'm sorry it's been so long. So here's the jist of it. Life is crazy, school is crazy, and most of all Netflix is crazy. I have a tendency to write when I binge-watch a show. Right now, I'm binging Grey's Anatomy. I know, it's blasphemy. So, be on the lookout for some of my Grey's Writing. I will continue to write this when I start binging Gilmore Girls again before the revival, so it might be a couple more weeks. Thank you all for sticking with me throughout this story, and don't worry, it's not abandoned. I hate saying this, but it's on a temporary hiatus... More like Hellatus, am I right? Sorry about my horrible humor. Thank you again.


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